Chapter Text
68 : gemini
Hermione
Draco's smile faded as soon as Hermione spoke.
"Ah." he said with a sigh, straightening against the back of his chair. "The high-pitched voice. That sounds promising."
Hermione ignored his comment and leaned back against the chair in front of her with both hands. She wanted to stay standing, to tell him what she had been reciting in her head. He waited across from her, both amused and a little taken aback.
She took a breath, then said, avoiding his eyes:
"I'm having trouble understanding you. Every time I think I've figured you out, or that we've become friends, you do something to hurt me or remind me of who you really are. It's like you're waiting for the moment when I'm comfortable enough with you to do something to me. By annoying Harry and Ron, by talking to Rita Skeeter in secret... I'm constantly panicking that you're going to be mean again, that you're going to be "Malfoy" again."
His eyebrows were still raised. Hermione continued her tirade:
"And on the other hand, when we're alone here, you become the most interesting, funny, kindest boy I've ever known. When I'm at this table, time flies. I love talking to you, even if sometimes we argue, or disagree, or you drive me mad. I love going to our bench and getting to know you. Getting to know Draco. The one I ate an Easter egg with, the one I offered sheet music to, the one who writes letters that make me smile for days on end, the one who defies all prohibitions to come and visit me in Hampstead Park..."
Draco showed no sign that he was touched by these words. Hermione, however, didn't let it get to her, determined to finish her speech:
"I like Draco as much as I hate Malfoy. And I'm tired of having to choose between them. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I spend time with you because I can't tell my friends about you, because you'll always be that infamous Malfoy who takes pleasure in hurting others. I can't stand your changing moods, I hate when you say those awful things to Harry..."
"I've already told you, Granger." Draco interrupted dryly. "My friendship with you doesn't change the fact that Potter will always be my enemy."
"But why?" she asked impatiently. "He hasn't done anything to you! I'm not asking you to suddenly become his best friend, I'm just asking you to respect him, or simply ignore him..."
"I can't, Granger." he said with finality.
"Why not?"
"Because I hate him." he said with a shrug. "I hate him, always have, never will. He's insufferable, taking everyone's attention with his so-called "fame", playing the martyr when he's never managed to do anything right in his life..."
"That's not true, you have no idea..."
"He doesn't realise all the people behind him who are there to help him, Dumbledore and all the other teachers, you and even Weaselbee..." Draco continued in an increasingly irritated tone. "And what about us? The rest of us? Who was there when Pansy fainted in the middle of class? Who was there for Theo when..."
Draco stopped abruptly and slammed his clenched fist against the table, letting out a few breaths.
"Snape." he said finally. "Snape was the only one who helped us. Not Dumbledore, not McGonagall, not Hagrid, not Lupin. Snape."
"But Harry had nothing to do with it..."
"He has everything to do with it." Draco growled, looking up at her. "And he doesn't even realise it. He cries when the slightest thing happens to him..."
"The slightest thing?! Draco, he lost his parents! They were murdered by You-Know-Who!" exclaimed Hermione angrily.
"Sometimes, losing your parents is better than having them." Draco muttered.
He looked down at his books. Hermione wasn't sure what he meant. She didn't know if he meant his parents, or his friends' parents.
"I've already told you in my letters." he continued through clenched teeth. "I have accepted that we can be friends, both of us. But Potter, it's out of the question. I just can't. My father..."
"Your father?" she interrupted with a forced laugh. "Are you really going to use your father's excuse now?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do!" shouted Draco as he jumped to his feet, banging his chair against the edge of the table and making Hermione take a step back. "I'm already risking a lot by talking to you, Granger! I'm doing everything I can to keep this a secret, to keep you safe, while you throw it all away on a f*cking Bulgarian!" he spat furiously. "If I start to like Potter, how do you think my family will react? With my father working for Him? I don't have the luxury of choosing what I think of him, I'm forced to hate him, because if I don't, I might be disinherited, or worse!"
"But you always have a choice!" she said with the same force, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to recite a text she had memorised.
"I don't have a choice! I've never had a choice!" he shouted.
"Well, I do!" snapped Hermione. "And I'm sick of being torn between your two personalities! I believe Harry, I'll always believe Harry, and I can't stand the guilt that eats me up inside every time I spend time with you, or even think about you!"
"And why does it only bother you now, Granger?" hissed Draco through his teeth, like a snake ready to bite its prey. "It never bothered you before! Nothing has changed!"
"Everything's changed!" Hermione shouted angrily. "Everything's changed since you told me you loved me!"
Draco's whole body instantly froze. He stared at her, dazed, an accusing finger still in the air. The vein pulsing against the skin of his neck was more visible than ever. His icy pupils, which had been shooting lightning bolts, dilated slightly.
He stepped back in astonishment and ran a hand over his face, then up to his hair, taking it between his fingers. He closed his eyes for a few seconds to calm himself.
Then he sat back in his chair and spoke in a much lower voice:
"I knew I should never have said that to you."
"Well, I'm glad you did." Hermione admitted, speaking with the same intensity as him.
Draco ran a hand through his hair again and bowed his head.
"Sit down." he said quietly.
"No, I want to stand."
"Hermione..." he whispered with a sigh. "Sit down. Please."
She didn't know if it was because he was calling her by her first name or because his voice was almost pleading, but Hermione consented to sit down. She had gripped the edge of the chair so tightly that her fingers were all numb.
When she sat down, Draco finally raised his head and looked at her for several seconds in silence.
"I can put them aside. My... feelings." he explained in a whisper, so low that Hermione had to lean in to hear it. "I told you because I wanted you to know why I was so upset when Krum took you to the Ball, or on a date, or whatever. I wanted you to know, but I didn't want you to dwell on it, because I don't want it to change anything between us. But I had obviously forgotten that I was talking to the most stubborn girl in England..."
"The fact that you told me you had feelings for me is the only proof that you deserve to be my friend." she said frankly. "It's the only thing that makes me want to come to the Library to see you. The only proof that you're not Malfoy. Because after the way you acted yesterday, I really wasn't sure I'd come."
"But you told me you would." he said in a very low voice.
Hermione remembered exactly the moment he was referring to. Outside Hampstead Park Station, in the middle of Muggle London, the sun warming her cheeks...
"But you were different then." Hermione argued as gently as she could. "You were Draco. My Draco. Since yesterday, you've been Malfoy."
"I can't change who I am Granger." Draco said. "I can't be only Draco. I have to be Malfoy. Even if it's hard for me sometimes, when you look at me with so much disappointment in your eyes."
"You brought Crabbe and Goyle with you." she accused, catching herself hearing pain in her own voice.
"I know. It was stupid." he said with a desperate sigh.
She nodded and said nothing for several minutes. Draco was in a state she found hard to define: he was both overwhelmed, half leaning over the table and looking sad, and at the same time she could feel the anger emanating from his body. She could see that he was trying to control himself.
Hermione finally allowed herself to look at him. For the first time since July, Draco was actually there, in front of her. And now that his face was free of that hostile expression, she fully appreciated her observation: his light blonde hair, dishevelled by the assault of his hands, his stormy grey eyes, his hands resting on the table, adorned with several silver rings... She had thought about him so much during the summer, and yet her imagination couldn't quite picture the perfection of his features. The colour of his skin, which matched so well with the colour of his lips. His long fingers brushing the wood of the table without noticing. His jaw clenched in concentration...
The table had been silent for too long. And Hermione hated silence. She looked away from Draco and spoke again, hesitantly:
"Ron came to talk to me yesterday..."
Draco immediately jerked his head up, forcing her to look at him again. His mouth was twisted in concern, but his eyes had regained the icy colour of anger.
"I don't give a f*ck about Weasley." he hissed defiantly. "What did he want with you?" he asked anyway.
Hermione almost rolled her eyes at the disproportionate reaction.
"He wanted to tell me he was loyal to Harry." she explained.
Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Took him five years to figure that out?" he asked sarcastically.
"Let me finish. He told me he believed Harry, and if I did too, I should support him now more than ever. Everyone believes the Prophet, everyone wants to believe that Harry is saying nonsense to avoid admitting that You-Know-Who might be back."
Draco rolled his eyes, but Hermione didn't know if it was in response to Harry or to the people who were stupid enough to believe the Prophet. Hermione realised that of all the people in this Castle, Draco was one of the only ones who knew that Voldemort had indeed returned.
"And what did you tell him?" asked Draco with a disdain that suggested he didn't care what the answer was, but Hermione knew he was secretly interested.
"That I believed in Harry." she replied without hesitation. "That I was as loyal to him as Ron."
Draco sighed and looked at her disappointedly.
"For a girl as smart as you, that's a completely stupid decision." Draco said.
"Maybe, but it doesn't change my beliefs." Hermione replied in a voice that had risen an octave against her will. "Harry will always be my priority. I trust him and I know that he needs me. You promised yourself that he would be your enemy... And I promised myself I would fight for him. And I am. I even had a row with Lavender Brown yesterday because she doubted him. I'm completely on his side. But you're my only weakness. And the weight of guilt is too much to bear."
"What do you mean then, Granger?" asked Draco with a bitter sneer. "You want to end it all?"
He gestured to the round table.
"I don't want to." Hermione corrected. "But I'll have to if you don't accept what I want."
Something very strange then crossed Draco's face. One second he was listening to what she was saying, and the next, his face was completely closed. She barely had time to notice the surprise on his features. Nothing had changed, except that his eyes were darker and his jaw was clenched. But Hermione still had the strange feeling that Draco had walked away from her without taking a single step.
"Careful what you say, Granger." he said, and his voice much colder and more threatening than before. "If you're asking me to choose between hating Potter or spending time with you in the Library..."
"That's exactly what I'm doing." she cut in. "I'm giving you a choice. Either you keep harassing Harry and we stop being friends, or we keep seeing each other in secret and you stop making fun of him."
"That's blackmail." he hissed.
"No, it's an ultimatum." Hermione rectified.
"If you really think you're that import..." he began, and Hermione realised that the tone he was using wasn't reserved for the nicest words.
She cut him off a second time:
"I don't want your answer now. Take some time to think about it. And if you want to discuss it, I'll be on the bench tonight. If you decide you'd rather take out your hatred on Harry, that's fine. Don't come, and I'll understand that you've chosen sides. But please, Draco, just think about it, will you? I'll be waiting for you on the bench, tonight, after dinner."
And with that, Hermione rose, leaving a stunned Draco at the round Library table.
***
Draco
Draco had never been so confused as he entered the Great Hall. Granger had been gone from the Library for twenty minutes already, but her soft voice was still etched in his mind. With every step he took, her words echoed inside him like a bad omen. "Either you keep harassing Harry and we stop being friends, or we keep seeing each other in secret and you stop making fun of him."
Draco had no idea what to do. He knew in his heart that he had to hate Potter. That was what his mind told him. But the thought of losing Granger was so frightening that it made him lose his principles. The prospect of her not coming to the Library was even more terrifying than his father.
He sat mechanically at the Slytherin table, staring into space. Crabbe and Goyle were already seated, but even if they had spoken to him, Draco had heard nothing. His thoughts were swirling too much in his head to pay attention to his surroundings.
Suddenly, he heard the usual bustle in the Great Hall turn into a quiet mass. Potter had just entered, accompanied by Granger and Weasley. As soon as he sat down at his table, the other students pointed at him and whispered theories. The news that Potter had lost his temper with Umbridge during the first Defence Against the Dark Arts class had obviously spread quickly around the Castle.
While everyone was watching Potter, Draco was watching Granger. There was nothing in her demeanour to suggest that she had just shouted at anyone. She was just talking to her two best friends. He looked away as he felt anger rising at her indifference.
Draco knew he shouldn't go to that bench. It was an excellent way to get rid of this problem. She was offering him a way out.
But he couldn't imagine leaving Granger alone in the park and realising what an arsehole he was.
Theo, Blaise and Pansy suddenly took their seats beside him and Draco Occluded immediately.
"I hate that woman." Theo snapped.
He glanced hatefully at Umbridge, who was sitting at the end of the teachers' table. She took no notice and continued to drink her soup.
"Why?" asked Pansy, helping herself to the salad. "I mean, she doesn't have the most attractive personality, I'll give you that, but she's on our side, isn't she? She hates Potter, like us, and she was in Slytherin, like us."
"She works in the Ministry of Magic." Theo pointed.
"So what? Didn't you want to work there?" asked Blaise, who gave Theo a curious look.
The boy's ears turned a little red.
"Er... yes, but not anymore." he replied shyly, suddenly interested in the contents of his plate.
"You wanted to work there?" said Pansy in surprise. "In what department?"
"Minister of Magic." Blaise replied instead of Theo.
Pansy and Draco laughed and Theo glared at Blaise.
"That was a long time ago." Theo muttered, digging into his omelette. "I don't want to work there anymore. If it's full of harpies like that, I'll do without."
He pointed the tip of his fork at Umbridge again.
"Merlin, why do you hate her so much?" asked Pansy.
"Didn't you pay any attention to what she was saying in class?" asked Theo in an exasperated tone.
"Not really, I was more distracted by Potter's shouting..."
"Before that." said Theo. "She's banning the use of magic in her class!"
"So what? We know how to defend ourselves." said Pansy with a shrug.
"Exactly, this isn't normal." Theo said impatiently. "We shouldn't have to learn defence techniques on our own. This woman refuses to teach us. She wants us to believe that the world is beautiful, and that there is no danger from outside..."
"Well, I can teach you, if you want." Blaise said with a smile. "But I'll have to do it without a wand."
He cracked his knuckles and Pansy laughed. Theo, on the other hand, remained unmoved.
"She wants us to believe that You-Know-Who hasn't come back!" he muttered hastily.
"If people are stupid enough to think he hasn't, then too bad for them." Blaise said in his wise voice.
"They think Potter's a madman..." Theo continued.
"He is." Pansy cut in.
"Because he had a nightmare once in Divination class?" scoffed Theo. "Believe me, I'd have nightmares too if I had to hear a word from that crazy teacher."
Pansy's eyes narrowed wickedly at hearing such an insult to her favourite teacher.
"He didn't just have a nightmare, he had a vision." she corrected in an angry voice.
"I thought it was good to have visions?" Blaise asked Pansy, genuinely confused. "You said yourself that seers..."
"Potter is not a seer!" said Pansy, rolling her eyes. "He doesn't have a Third Eye, he doesn't have the gift of Divination, he's just a traumatised person who can't handle too many emotions at once and explodes all the time! You saw it yourself in class, he was completely unleashed!"
Draco wondered what Granger would think of this description.
"He saw Diggory die in front of him." Theo said very seriously. "Personally, I'd be traumatised too if that had happened to me. Wouldn't you?"
Pansy shrugged, but swallowed hard. Theo had obviously hit the nail on the head. They finished their plates in silence. When the desserts arrived, Blaise took a large slice of apple pie.
"Umbridge is a pain in Potter's arse, that's a fact." Pansy said after several minutes of silence. "But why do you hate her? She hasn't done anything to you."
"I hate being forced to think." Theo explained firmly. "That's what my father tried to do all his life, and I hated it. I want to be able to decide for myself. And this... viper won't let me."
Umbridge was still eating quietly, oblivious to Theo's hatred for her from a few feet away. Still, if his eyes were a wand, she'd be dead on the spot.
"And on top of that, her classes suck." Theo concluded with a sigh.
"That's true." Pansy said, nodding. "I didn't read a single line of her textbook. It was boring as hell."
"It's a load of bollocks." said Theo, who had never criticised a book before. "We're not going to learn anything. I almost preferred Lupin, at least we could practice magic."
"No, don't abuse it." said Pansy.
Draco was the only one who knew that Pansy had very bad memories of Lupin because of the Boggart she'd had to face in the year-end exams.
"We didn't like the teacher, but you can't say the lessons weren't interesting." Blaise remarked between bites of pie.
"He was a werewolf." Pansy said in a whisper, as if saying the word out loud would bring her bad luck.
"Or what Umbridge described as "a particularly dangerous hybrid."" Blaise said with a chuckle, probably amused that the shabby Lupin they knew could be considered a dangerous being.
Theo, on the other hand, was not laughing.
"It's horrible to call someone that." he said grimly.
"Are you a werewolf rights activist too?" scoffed Pansy.
"No, I'm just saying it's horrible to label someone like that. Especially when you're wearing such an ugly pink cardigan."
Pansy could only nod. She looked at Umbridge and pursed her lips, as she always did when she saw something she didn't like. She put her spoon down.
"It's so ugly it's ruined my appetite." she said in a disgusted tone.
Blaise hurried to take her piece of apple pie.
"I hate her." Theo repeated. "And I'm going to fail my O.W.L. because of her..."
"Oh, Theo!" groaned Blaise, looking up at the Great Hall sky as if calling to Merlin for help. "Again with those bloody O.W.L.s... It's in nine months!"
"We have to study every lesson since the first year!" said Theo. "Of course I'm talking about it now! And if it's this Umbridge who's going to train us, then it's imperative that I study Defence..."
"You sound just like Granger!" complained Blaise.
Draco almost burst out laughing as he thought of how many times he'd said the same thing to himself. He ate a large piece of apple to keep from doing so and was extremely careful not to look up. He didn't want to seem interested in the turn the conversation had taken.
Just then, the sounds of cutlery falling and benches scraping could be heard in the Hall and everyone looked up to see Potter, Granger and Weasley storming out of the room. Potter was in the same state he had been in Umbridge's class: absolutely furious. Granger glared menacingly at the students watching them leave and escaped through the main door without even finishing her dessert.
"Speaking of Granger..." Pansy hissed, watching the Gryffindor with a look of deep disgust on her face.
"One thing's for sure, Theo, she hates Umbridge as much as you do." Blaise commented, helping himself to a third slice of apple pie. "I've never seen her so rebellious in class."
Draco had to admit that Blaise was right. Granger had been unrecognisable during that lesson, responding so insolently to a teacher. She hadn't even blushed. Draco had rarely seen her so feverish. He had been able to guess her slanderous thoughts about Umbridge from every expression on her face.
He smiled a little as he remembered that moment before Occluding again.
"I did." Pansy interjected. "Divination, third year. She walked out of class swinging a crystal ball at Trelawney's feet, remember?"
"If only you could have visions of upcoming Divination classes to warn me that I'm about to miss a legendary scene..." Blaise said with a sigh.
Pansy rolled her eyes.
"Well, I thought what Granger did was very brave." Theo pointed out.
Draco looked up at him this time. His ears were still red and he was so bent over his pie that his nose was brushing the apples on it.
"Brave? Seriously?" exclaimed Blaise.
"Yes." Theo said firmly, despite his blush. "She had the guts to say what I was thinking. I would never have dared speak to a teacher like that, but I'm glad she did. She acted respectfully, but without being pushed around, unlike Potter... I'm just saying, if you think I sound like her, it's more of a compliment."
Pansy and Blaise stared at him in shock, but that was nothing compared to Draco, who must have glared at him without noticing. He didn't like it when he talked about Granger like that, so... kind.
Blaise finally shrugged and Pansy made no comment. Despite his jealousy, Draco couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration for Theo. He always said what he thought, even if it was an opinion that others didn't share. He had even stood up to his father, the most terrifying person Draco had ever met.
Theo was solving a problem Draco had had since first year: speaking his mind without fear of repercussions.
For that alone, Draco's jealousy subsided a little and he continued to eat his dessert.
"And you, Dray, what do you think of this Umbridge?" asked Blaise suddenly.
"Not much." Draco said with a shrug, speaking out loud for the first time during the meal. "She's insufferable, and her lessons are pretty lousy, but my father says I have to side with her to make me look good, so I guess she can't be all that awful."
Theo rolled his eyes in disgust.
"But what do you think?" asked Blaise.
"I think as long as she's annoying Potter, I'm her friend." Draco replied with a grin.
Pansy nodded in agreement. Blaise didn't insist, but Draco clearly heard Theo muttering:
"Always with these two personalities..."
He twitched at that.
"What did you say?" Draco called out to him.
Theo lifted his head to look at Draco. It was the first time they'd spoken since the day before school started.
"I said, always with these two personalities." Theo repeated, articulating every syllable as if Draco was as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle.
"Me?"
"Yes, you!" Theo replied with the umpteenth sigh. "You're always torn between two opinions, or two moods, or two personalities, it's annoying!"
Draco looked at him blankly, stunned by the remark. It was exactly what Granger had told him less than an hour ago in the Library.
"Draco's always been like that." Pansy interjected, not at all bothered by Theo's analysis. "It's in his nature."
"What? What the f*ck are you talking about?" snapped Draco, who hated being analysed like that.
"See!" Pansy exclaimed, pointing at him. "Now you've switched to anger. You dance from one mood to another all the time. You're always in duality. But it's perfectly logical, if you think about it."
"Why?" asked Theo.
"Because Draco is a Gemini." Pansy replied, as if that answer explained everything.
Draco couldn't hold back an exasperated sigh.
"Nonsense." he said, offended.
"It's not nonsense. Geminis are defined by their duality." Pansy explained, like a teacher giving a lesson. "They always oscillate between two inner elements. Either in opposition, through conflict, instability, dispersion, even destruction, or in complementarity, in connection, exchange, curiosity..."
Draco thought that Pansy had probably memorised her Divination book. Blaise and Theo listened attentively, which was rare when she was talking about Astrology.
"Like his father, for example?" asked Blaise.
"Hey!" snapped Draco.
"Exactly." said Pansy, ignoring him. "He'll always be divided. Between difference and similarity, independence and solidarity, conflict and unity, selfishness and generosity, hate and love..."
"Can you please stop talking about me like that?" growled Draco, who was watching his surroundings to make sure no one was overhearing.
"For you, Theo, it's different." Pansy continued in her formal voice. "Virgos see everything in black and white. There's no real nuance in your thoughts. It's either good or bad. And for Blaise and me, our perceptions change a lot depending on our affect."
"Wow." Theo blurted out in an impressed tone. "You know, I've never believed any of that Divination bullsh*t before, but this... I have to admit, this is the truest Divination bullsh*t I've ever heard."
"It's not just Divination, it's also Astrology." Pansy corrected as she rose from the table, now that Blaise had finished (all of) the pie. "I'm sure if you were even remotely interested in this science, you'd be shocked at how accurate it is on so many subjects."
"I don't know if I would be, but in any case, this analysis of Draco's is frighteningly real." Theo said as they left the Great Hall. He shivered as he entered the corridor. "Merlin, how cold it is in this Castle..."
"Theo, if I'd earned a Galleon every time you said that, I'd be richer than all our parents put together." Blaise replied.
Pansy burst out laughing, but Draco was far too preoccupied to laugh too. Pansy's description of Gemini was, he had to admit, extremely precise and accurate. It wasn't the first time she'd given him the impression that Divination wasn't as rubbish as he'd thought.
He didn't really like the idea of being read so openly. He'd never realised that his friends could get to know him well enough to know his whole personality. Sometimes he would have preferred to just hang out with Crabbe and Goyle, it would have been far more restful.
Pansy whispered the password and the door opened. Of course, there was a party going on in the Common Room. The music wasn't as loud as usual, but a few people were already dancing near the gramophone. Theo went straight to the dormitory to put on a jumper.
By the time Draco sat down on their usual sofa, Pansy already had a cup of vanilla whisky in her left hand and a lit cigarette in her right.
She took a seat next to Draco and Blaise sat down in his assigned chair. Draco noticed that Daphne left just as Blaise arrived.
Draco hadn't followed Blaise and Daphne's 'relationship' too closely. He'd just noticed over the weeks that it wasn't really a booty call anymore, but rather a couple, before they abruptly broke up at the end of the year. Pansy must have known all about it, but for once she hadn't shared any gossip, probably at Blaise's request. He never talked about such things. Draco didn't even know who had broken up with whom.
Draco glanced around the dancers without really seeing them. When he spotted Daphne, her eyes glued to Blaise and ready to burst into tears, Draco understood who had broken up with whom.
"Hu-oh." said Pansy, spotting her best friend at the same time as him. "I'll be right back. Can you hold my drink for me?" she asked Draco, shoving the cup into his hand without waiting for him to answer.
She stood up and charged into the crowd of dancers. Just before intercepting Daphne, she turned to Draco, twirling her straight hair:
"Don't drink it, there's not much left!" she warned, pointing at her glass.
"Not a chance." Draco muttered as he smelled the disgusting scent of vanilla emanating from the cup.
Blaise watched the two girls talking with a somewhat tormented expression on his face.
Unexpectedly, Theo sat down next to Draco on the sofa where Pansy had been a few seconds earlier. This was surprising for two reasons: the first was that Theo rarely attended parties, and when he did, it was from a distance, sitting at a study table. The second was that he was still supposed to give Draco the cold shoulder.
Theo looked at the dancers, also lost in thought. He had put on one of Blaise's black sweatshirts to protect himself from the cold.
Then, suddenly, he turned to Draco.
"Um... Hey." he said pitifully, without meeting his eyes.
Draco raised his eyebrows. Why was he greeting him when they'd been together all day?
"Hey...?" Draco replied cautiously.
"I wanted to talk to you." Theo murmured, fidgeting with his hands, obviously intimidated by the exercise. "Actually, I wanted to apologise."
"Apologise? For what?" asked Draco, stunned.
"For my behaviour. I behaved like a brat..." Theo said with a sad sigh. Draco thought it was the hundredth time he'd sighed that day. "I took it badly when you were made Prefect and I dumped it all on you, even though it wasn't your fault. And then I stopped talking to you, and it was too late to go back. I'm sorry."
"That's all right." Draco replied impulsively, surprised by the unexpected apology. "I understand why you were gutted, I would have been too if I'd been in your position."
Theo smiled reassuringly and finally raised his head. His hazel curls were almost as long as they had been before the Yule Ball and hid his almond-shaped blue eyes.
"Do you remember what I told you last year?" he asked hopefully.
"You told me a lot of things last year, Theo." Draco replied sarcastically.
"I told you that we'd always be mates, and that no amount of bullsh*t you could pull would stop me from being friends with you." Theo reminded him, with an embarrassed smile. "So, I remembered that being a prefect wasn't really a reason to hold a grudge against you."
"If I could, I'd give you my badge." Draco promised. "That sounds a lot more boring than I thought."
He was careful not to tell him the one valid reason why he loved being a Prefect. Theo nodded:
"Yeah, I thought so too."
"So you're not mad at me anymore?" asked Draco.
"Nah." Theo replied with a wave of his hand, as if to push the thought as far away as possible. "Besides, I've realised that to be a Prefect you actually have to talk to people, so I guess it's not really my thing."
Draco burst out laughing, at the same time as Blaise let out a desperate "oh no..." Draco turned to him and saw that he hadn't paid the slightest attention to their conversation. He was still looking at Pansy and Daphne, a little further away. She was now crying her eyes out against Pansy's shoulder, who was comforting her as best she could by stroking her back.
"Is she crying because of you?" asked Theo in surprise.
Just then, Daphne lifted her head from Pansy's shoulder and gave Blaise a dark, bloodshot look.
"Oh." Theo said, eyes wide. "Guess I have my answer then."
"I don't understand why she's crying..." complained Blaise, who seemed extremely affected by the idea that he was the cause of Daphne's distress. "I did everything right, everything by the book, I left her gently..."
"Maybe she loves you." Draco ventured.
Blaise turned to him in panic.
"What?! Do you think that's possible?"
"I don't know." Draco said, swirling Pansy's vanilla whisky around to do something with his hands. "I found out Pansy loved me a year after everyone else, I'm not an expert on these things."
Blaise moved from Draco to Theo, silently imploring him. Theo raised both hands:
"Don't ask me, I've never been out with anyone!"
"What can I do?" asked Blaise with a hint of panic in his voice. "I've always been respectful, this is the first time a girl has cried over me like this..."
"It must be your irresistible charm." Theo tried. "Maybe it's impossible to resist you?"
Draco laughed, but Blaise was so upset that he quickly stopped.
After about ten minutes, Theo complained of a headache from the smell of Pansy's vanilla whisky and went to bed. Blaise was still lost in his panicked contemplation of Daphne's crying.
So, Draco was left to his own thoughts.
And of course, he was thinking about Granger.
She hadn't set a time for the bench, but he suspected she was planning to sneak out after Potter and Weasley had gone to bed. He still didn't know if he should go or not. His Gemini duality, as Pansy would say, gave him two conflicting orders: go, apologise and promise never to insult Potter again, or sit resolutely on that couch and never see her in the Library again.
If he listened to his own desires, he really wanted to take the first option. The thought of never seeing her again at that round table was far too heartbreaking a prospect, he couldn't bear it. On the other hand, promising never to bother Potter again meant not only giving up a hobby that amused him, but also breaking his own promise. Implicitly deceiving his parents... For befriending Granger was one thing, but supporting Potter was another, with far more destructive consequences...
Assailed by his own dilemma, Draco poured himself a drink. It would replace meditation. He didn't see the apple liqueur, his favourite, so he took a large glass of Firewhisky. The burning sensation in his throat as he took his first sip was still painfully addictive, especially after not drinking for so long. He returned to the sofa with the two cups in his hand.
Without knowing why, his thoughts turned to his friends. He wondered what they would do in his situation.
He thought of Theo, who always had a strong opinion and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. He would certainly have apologised to Granger. He would have followed his true instincts without worrying about what others might think of him.
Blaise, with his gentlemanly manner and his pained expression at the thought of a girl crying because of him, would probably have been devastated to see Granger sitting alone on that bench. He would have gone to her, no doubt.
At first, Draco thought Pansy would have chosen the second option. She cared too much about promises and values to break them like that. But then, Draco watched his best friend comfort Daphne and realised he was wrong. Pansy would do anything for the people she loved. There weren't many on the list: Blaise, Theo and Daphne, and himself. But if anything happened to them, she would do anything to stop it, even if it meant putting herself in danger.
Draco corrected his answer. She would definitely go to Granger to try and put things right.
He took another sip of Firewhisky, burning his tongue. Granger must have arrived by now. She must be sitting on their bench, looking around, waiting for him to show up. Draco turned the cup between his fingers. It was not a pleasant sight to imagine.
So, he made a plan in his head.
A Slytherin technique.
If he had to choose between two things he liked, he preferred to change the deal, bend the rules to get something in return. He spent several minutes working out a new deal with the Gryffindor who was waiting outside.
Draco finished his drink in one gulp and stood up, suddenly overcome by an overflowing impatience. He pushed his way through the dancers to reach Pansy. As he got close to her, he could hear Daphne sniffing at her shoulder.
"Here." he said, handing her the cup of vanilla whisky.
"Thanks." she said, a little taken aback. "Where are you going?"
"Out for some air." he said, which wasn't a lie.
And he left through the back door of the Common Room. For once, Draco paid no attention to the prefects who might catch him breaking curfew, because he had a free pass. He strode through the dungeon corridor, up the stairs and found himself in the middle of the Castle Hall, plunged into darkness. He took an adjacent corridor, passed the display case of the school's antiques and opened the door to the outside, the one Filch always forgot to close.
It was drizzling outside. Draco followed the path towards the grounds, ignoring the drops that fell on his neck. Eventually he saw her in the distance. She was wearing a burgundy jumper and pink pyjama bottoms. She had obviously slipped out of her dormitory to find him, which gave him a flicker of joy in his confused head.
"Good evening, Granger." he said when he'd reached her level.
She was sitting cross-legged on the bench, her loose hair falling over her shoulders. She had obviously cast an elaborate spell which formed a halo around her to keep the rain from falling on her.
When she saw him, she gave a sincere smile that revealed her short, white teeth.
"I'm glad you came." she confessed in a small voice.
At that moment, Draco wondered how he could have hesitated. She only had to look at him for him to agree to anything she asked.
"Come and sit down, I can extend my rain spell..." she started as she made room on the bench.
"No, don't bother." Draco cut in. "I'm the one who wants to stand now."
He was afraid that if he got too close to her, he wouldn't be able to gather his thoughts. The fact that her chocolate eyes scanned him was enough to make him lose his words a little.
"I accept your proposal, on a few conditions." he announced.
Granger rolled her eyes softly.
"I was sure you'd say that."
Draco usually hated it when people could guess what he was going to say or do, but he realised he loved it when it was her.
"I can see why you want me to stop screwing around with Potter." he began. Granger's eyes widened as he said the vulgar word. "Bothering Potter." he corrected. "I suppose I'd be angry with you if you started insulting Pansy, or Theo or Blaise, even though they deserve to be insulted less than f*cking Potter..."
"Draco!"
"Sorry." he pulled himself together. "Well, I want you to know that I understand. And it's not easy for me to admit it, I hope you know that."
Granger nodded.
"Now, you must also understand that this isn't just about screwi-bothering Potter." he said. As always when he had to talk about such personal matters, his throat went dry. "I've been forced to hate him since first year. And it's never been a problem for me, far from it. I won't lie and tell you that every insult was hard to say. I never liked him."
Granger didn't hide her annoyance at hearing that sentence. He continued without giving her time to speak:
"My parents aren't saints, and I don't agree with them about a lot of things. But they're still my parents. I love them, in spite of everything." (His voice trembled slightly as he said this, and he coughed to control it again.) "I don't want to disappoint them, especially about something so important to them. I'm afraid, actually. Of the consequences."
"That's natural." Granger said quietly, encouraging him to continue.
"But it turns out that you're not only over-curious, and stubborn, and sometimes a bit of a Know-It-All, but you're also very endearing, and I care more about those study sessions in the Library and those chats on that bench than you imagine. I'm willing to change for you. I'm willing to try, to make an effort."
Granger's eyes lit up when she heard that.
"I'm willing to give Potter a bit of peace.” Draco said, struggling to get the promise out of his mouth. "I'll stop pissing him off."
"Oh! Thank you so much Dra..." Granger exclaimed as she jumped to her feet in over-excitement, but Draco stopped her gesture by placing his hand on her jumper sleeve.
"Wait. I'll stop messing with him, but if he messes with me, as he often does, I have the right to defend myself." he said, holding up a finger.
"I suppose that's fair." Granger said with a small grimace.
"Second condition." Draco continued, holding up a second finger. "This rule does not apply to Quidditch."
Granger rolled her eyes again, just as Theo had earlier in the evening. The resemblance between the two was, once again, striking.
"I'm so sick of that stupid sport!" Granger squealed.
"Do we agree?" urged Draco.
She sighed and gave in.
"Very well." he said. "And thirdly, (he held up a third finger) this promise only stops with Potter. I have the right to insult Weasley and his entire clan, Hagrid, Longbottom or anyone else."
"Not Ron..." she yelped.
"Those are my three conditions, Granger." Draco said. "Take them or leave them."
She shook her head and crossed her arms:
"No. Not Ron." Granger repeated stubbornly.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Seeing the spark of determination in her eyes, he knew she was determined not to let this third condition go.
"You're a tough negotiator." he pointed out grumpily. "Well, I'm not going to stop, but I can try to reduce the taunts. How's that?"
Instead of answering, she held out her hand to seal the deal. Draco took it without hesitation. Granger's palm was soft and warm, while his was rain-soaked and probably freezing cold.
"Deal." Granger said proudly.
They looked at each other for several seconds, smiling at the same time. It was as if they had just seen each other again after the summer.
"Come under the spell." Granger said as she sat back down on their bench.
Draco obeyed. As she gestured around them with her wand, Draco inhaled the sweet smell of strawberries that still lingered in her hair and that he had missed terribly.
"We need to come up with a plan." Draco said while Granger was still casting her spell around them.
"A plan?"
"Yes. If I stop insulting Potter overnight, people will suspect something is wrong."
Granger narrowed her eyes thoughtfully.
"Why don't you insult me instead?" she said, matter-of-factly.
"What?" he gasped. "No, I'm not going to insult you..."
"Why not?" replied Granger with a shrug, still busy extending the spell over their heads. "If I know you're doing it on purpose to avoid attracting attention, I wouldn't care. I'm kind of immune to Malfoy's jabs after five years of experience..."
Draco grimaced:
"But I don't want to insult you."
"It would be best if you stopped insulting people altogether." Hermione quipped sharply. "But that's unlikely to happen. So, do what you were doing before. I'm sure Parkinson will be delighted." she added bitterly.
"But..."
"Draco, I'll know it's not true. It's all about pretending that you still hate me. And if I'm being completely honest, that would suit me too. I don't want Harry or Ron to know what's going on."
Draco was about to reply that Potter and Weasley were far too stupid to figure it out, but stopped himself at the last second. The halo spread out enough to cover Draco, who shook his head to clear the raindrops from his hair. The sky was covered in thick clouds and it continued to rain around them. Granger hadn't taken a jar this time. It was still warm enough to keep her fingers from getting cold.
"Very well then. I'll do it." Draco conceded. "But I promise you in advance, I don't mean a word of it. All right?"
Granger smiled a little:
"I know."
She straightened against the bench.
"I really thought you weren't coming." she said quietly, watching the raindrops that covered the leaves on the ground.
"Really?" Draco said in surprise.
"Well, you seemed pretty upset earlier." Granger said, unconsciously biting her lower lip. "I thought you'd made up your mind and weren't going back on it. Malfoy promises and all..." she said lightly.
"I've had time to settle down since then." Draco said to reassure her.
"You said I blackmailed you." she pointed with an amused little smile.
She looked at him through her lashes and Draco realised how much he had missed her smile. It was one of the things he remembered most when he fell asleep.
"You did blackmail me." he said, no accusation in his voice, just a simple statement of fact. "Careful, you're becoming more and more like me, Granger. A real Slytherin."
She immediately shook her head:
"Oh no, I told you, I could never be."
"Why?" he asked.
"I'm too... Spontaneous." she replied, using her hands to speak as she always did when explaining something. "I feel like every time I talk to a Slytherin, which means you, Snape and even Parkinson, I'm playing a complicated game of chess. I'm acting on impulse, whereas you think everything through, calculate everything. As I've told you in our letters, I think I'm far too emotional and impulsive to be as cunning as you are."
"You find it hard to talk to me?" asked Draco, who didn't really know how to take that sentence.
"A little." she admitted. "But that's what makes it so stimulating. It's different, it's refreshing. I know Harry and Ron so well that I can predict everything they say before they even open their mouths. With you, it's always new. Always surprising.
"Still, I'm much more impulsive than you." Draco disagreed. "You said yourself that I can go into a rage without warning. And Pansy always says I should never speak when I'm angry because I always say the most hurtful words first."
"It's true you can be impulsive." Granger admitted, turning to him. "But I think you're always like that. Either one or the other, with no middle ground."
Draco had heard this before at dinner when Pansy had described his zodiac sign. He really didn't like Granger saying the same things she did, especially when she was studying him like a science experiment.
So, he preferred to change the subject:
"Anyway, you're almost ready to join the Slytherins, whether you like it or not."
"Why?" she wondered.
"Well, I've always been told that you have to have certain qualities, and I think you have the main ones." Draco explained very seriously. "Ambitious... (He counted with his fingers), smart, loyal, and seeing how you defended Potter, I'd say you're... Ingenious, determined, cunning..."
"I'm not cunning!" she defended herself.
"You blackmailed me, you are cunning." Draco disagreed firmly. "Proud, and well, a little short-tempered. And after your episode with Umbridge earlier, I think it's safe to say you're definitely a little short-tempered."
Hearing this, Granger blushed slightly. It was hard to believe that this was the same shy girl who had dared to be rude to a teacher without flinching.
Granger suddenly picked up her wand and pointed it at the gap in the bench between them. Draco barely had time to blink before Granger's teacup appeared. She had just Conjured an object without the slightest effort, not even realising that she had just performed a very advanced level of magic.
"Now that I've gotten to know you, I can see that Slytherins aren't as vile as I thought." Granger declared, not noticing the shock on Draco's features at what she'd just done. "But I could never have been sent there. I'm not... Mysterious enough."
"Mysterious?" he repeated, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Yes... Look at Pansy Parkinson, for instance. She has this presence, this magnetism... I could never reach that level. Everyone in Slytherin is a mystery. We've been talking in the Library for almost a year, and I get the impression you're still full of secrets!"
Draco laughed bitterly.
"Secrets, me?! Do you really want to talk about secrets, Granger?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.
"You're the most secretive person I know!" cried Draco.
Granger raised her eyebrows. She didn't answer until she had put down her cinnamon tea bag and poured hot water into her cup with her wand. Then she raised the tea to her face and absentmindedly smelled the perfume.
"Nonsense." she said finally.
"Really?" he sneered. "Very well then. So, who was that dog at the station?"
Granger stiffened completely against the bench. Her fingers clenched against the cup and she gasped sharply.
"I... I don't know what you're talking about." she stammered flatly.
"Oh, give me a break!" Draco said. "I know you well enough to know when you're lying. And right now, Granger, you're lying. Just like you did with your Time Turner in third year."
"I didn't have a Time Turner in third year, and I don't know what dog you're talking about."
But her cheeks betrayed her again: they had turned a dark red on her cheekbones that had nothing to do with the cool breeze.
"See? A real Slytherin." Draco added with a snide chuckle. "You are lying shamelessly. Whose dog is this?"
Granger took a sip of tea to keep from answering, and Draco saw the exact moment she burned her lip, but pretended not to feel anything to continue her sip.
"Is that Potter's dog?" he asked more urgently.
"Draco, let go!"
"I never let go." he assured her. "If I want to know something, I'll always end up finding out. So whose is it?"
"What do you mean, whose?" said Granger, feigning ignorance.
"That dog didn't behave like a dog. I want to know why."
"It's not my secret, it's someone else's and I promised not to tell." Granger said in her panicked little voice.
"So I was right! There was something strange about that dog!" Draco said.
Granger put her head in her hands, narrowly missing spilling her hot tea on her thighs.
"Draco, please, let's just stop talking about it, okay?" she pleaded, her voice muffled by her pyjama trousers.
"We can stop talking about it if you want." Draco said with a fake disinterested shrug. "But I will find out why that dog was so strange. I'm going to be obsessed with finding out, I'm going to theorise, like you did with Rita Skeeter last year, and..."
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. An idea that explained everything: the dog's behaviour, its proximity to Potter and the Weasley family, and Granger's reaction.
"It's like Rita Skeeter, isn't it?" guessed Draco excitedly. He loved it when he understood riddles. "It's an unclassified Animagus?"
Granger muttered something and Draco realised he'd hit the right spot without her saying a word. Her face was so expressive that he could just talk to her and guess her answer from her facial expressions.
"Don't tell me it's another Weasley?" he said, having lost count of the number of redheaded children in this family. To him, they were approaching a good twenty.
"I'm not answering anything." Granger grumbled. "And let's stop talking about this, or I'm going back to my Common Room."
"All right, all right. Don't tell me. But I'll find out eventually, Granger."
She said nothing and took a sip of tea. Draco looked at the front of the Castle for the first time since he had arrived on the bench. He remembered the times when he had come here alone to think. Now, he associated this bench too much with Granger to spend time here without her.
All the lights in the Castle were out, except for a few windows that still showed the reflection of torches. It must have been 10pm. Granger put her feet up on the bench and rested her cup of tea on her lap, saying nothing. It was rather strange to share a moment of silence with her. Usually, she was quick to talk to fill the time.
To his surprise, it was he who interrupted to ask her a question. The roles had reversed.
"Tell me about the fight you had with Lavender Brown?"
Granger sighed, a long sigh full of tension and bitterness as she remembered the moment.
"Nothing important. We just got into it last night after she suggested that Harry was lying about You-Know-Who."
She squeezed her thighs together and hugged them absently with both arms, her head resting in front of the mug balanced on her lap.
"What did you say to her?" asked Draco, transfixed by the thought that Granger might have been arguing with someone.
She smiled mischievously at the question.
"I told her she was stupid if she actually believes the nonsense Trelawney tells and not Harry."
Draco hissed, impressed.
"Oh, wow. I stand by what I said, then. You're absolutely Slytherin material. You could easily win an argument with Pansy with that kind of retort."
Granger turned her head towards him, both proud and hesitant.
"I don't think so. The girl frightens me." she whispered anxiously.
"So do I, sometimes." Draco admitted with a smile.
She drank several gulps, but couldn't stop yawning between each one. Draco looked at her clothes again and remembered that she was wearing pyjamas. He'd never seen her dressed like that before, it was rather disconcerting.
"Lavender Brown sleeps in your dormitory, doesn't she?" asked Draco.
"Yes, why?"
"How did you manage to get away without her asking you any questions?"
"Oh. I just waited until Harry and Ron went to bed before I went back to the Common Room." Granger explained. "When Lavender and Parvati went upstairs, I pretended to be so engrossed in my reading that I wasn't planning on going up for a while, and as soon as the room cleared, I slipped out."
He had to admit that Pansy was right about the Geminis, but he didn't agree with her view of the Virgos. For Hermione Granger represented duality as much as he did. She was the most serious girl at Hogwarts, but also the cheekiest. You only had to get to know her to discover this side of her personality. She was as mischievous as Blaise, as sly as Theo and as perfidious as Pansy.
"A true Slytherin, Granger." Draco said again in a triumphant voice.
As Granger fell half asleep in her lap, Draco ordered her to go back inside. She didn't hesitate. Despite her obvious exhaustion, she managed to make the cup vanish with an expert flick of her wand.
They returned to the hidden door and Granger's halo disappeared as soon as they entered the Castle. All the torches in the hall were extinguished.
"Lumos!" cast Draco.
It lit up Granger's face and she winced at receiving so much light at once.
"Would you like me to take you to your Common Room?" he offered in a low voice.
"No thanks, that's sweet, but now that I've got my badge..." She pointed to the red and gold pin that hung from her jumper, just above the S.P.E.W. badge that she never took off. "Good night, Draco."
"Good night, Granger."
She climbed the stairs and disappeared into the darkness of the Castle. Draco descended into the dungeons using the light from his wand and said the password. When he opened the door, the party was still going on, but neither Blaise nor Pansy were in the Common Room.
"Hey, Draco!" called Crabbe. "Come on, we've made you a glass of liqueur!"
"No thanks." Draco said tiredly, "I'm going to bed. Good night, guys."
Crabbe and Goyle looked disappointed. Draco struggled to reach the dormitory stairs because of all the students pushing him, but finally managed to get into his dormitory.
Pansy was at the foot of Draco's bed, rummaging through his trunk. Theo was lying on his bedspread, reading his novel with one eye while talking to Blaise, who was sitting on the edge of his own bed, looking glum.
"Ah, Draco, there you are." Pansy said with relief as she saw him enter. "Daphne threw up all over her shirt and I've given her my pyjamas for tonight. Can I steal one of yours?"
Draco didn't hide his surprise: Pansy had never asked him if she could take an item of clothing from him, she was just getting into the habit of rummaging through his things to find what she wanted.
"Er, yes, of course, help yourself. Did you just get back?"
Blaise nodded sadly.
"Daphne's in a disastrous state." he muttered, as if he'd been the one serving her drinks. "She has half passed out against Pansy."
"I'm going to sleep next to her." Pansy assured him. "She'll be fine, don't worry."
"Draco, you got a letter." Theo blurted out gravely.
"A letter?" Draco wondered, halfway to his bed. "At this hour?"
Theo shrugged, as confused as he was.
"Yes, Ebony brought it an hour ago... I put it on the desk. It's from your father, I think."
Draco's heartbeat quickened and his hands became clammy in a second. His father rarely wrote him letters and they always arrived in the morning, never this late. Pansy lifted her head from the trunk and fixed him with her coal-black gaze, her eyebrows furrowed.
"His father?" repeated Blaise. "What could he possibly want to tell you this late at night?"
"Maybe Snape warned him about the Slytherin parties?" tried Pansy.
"By telling the parents without coming to yell at us?"
"You would have gotten a letter too, Pansy." Theo remarked. "A Howler, even."
"Maybe Ebony was just slow to bring it to you because of the rain." Blaise guessed, probably sensing Draco's anxiety rising at an impressive rate.
"Yeah, that's probably it." Theo agreed, looking just as worried as Draco.
"Open it." Pansy said, approaching the desk at the same time as him. "It's probably nothing, nothing to worry about."
Draco disagreed. When he recognised his father's handwriting on the envelope, his heart skipped a beat. It couldn't have helped that he had spent the evening with Granger and had promised not to insult Potter again.
He took the envelope. It was light, no more than a parchment. He stared at it idly for a second, considering all the possibilities, before Pansy grew impatient:
"Come on, Draco, open it!"
Theo put the book down on his bed and carefully reached behind him to read the contents over his shoulder. Blaise remained seated on his bed, which was just to the right of the desk.
Draco broke the seal, picked up the parchment and read the first words:
Draco,
I know everything.
